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Thinking back to my own childhood, there were many occasions I used the phrase “Am I allowed….. to get down, to play at my friends’ house, to have some sweets, to stay up late and watch telly..” and many more. My parents taught me to ask for permission first. And this permission was always activity-related.

I am intrigued that, as we grow older, this permission moves to behaviours and then on to feelings. 

One of my clients was recently talking to me about love, and a relationship which ended badly for them. In the struggle to make sense of what had happened, why the relationship failed, and why they were feeling so angry, it emerged that the client was not allowing themself to be loved. 

What causes us to believe that we don’t deserve to be loved, and therefore don’t allow others to love us? How well is this behaviour serving us?

And who is withholding permission to love and be loved? You are. 

Give yourself permisson to recognise that you are loved and to love in return.

If you would like to find out more about permission, call me on 01386 701591 or email 

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