This quote popped up in my Five Minute Journal App a few days ago. It struck a chord with me: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin.
My last blog suggested you walk to the end of your lifeline and look back at your life. The first time, you are looking back as if you’d decided to stick with what you’ve got, and you view how your life has panned out and who is there at the end of it with you. You repeat this exercise having chosen to do something different, or be someone different, and review again. Last time this was in the context of career change.
The Anais Nin quote struck a chord because I find myself (joyously) in a new relationship. And this process is true for anyone who finds that staying put is more damaging than taking the leap of faith.
Most of us who are the wrong side of fifty have been unlucky in love and have probably been deeply hurt at some point. Some of us take a while to recover from those experiences and retreat into a place of safety. This place usually has walls, or barriers of some description. The walls and barriers shield us. And sometimes this place of safety is so comforting that we stay there for long periods of time. This behaviour of closing ourselves off becomes unconscious.
My other half and I spoke about that behaviour of being closed off. And in the context of a primary relationship, being emotionally unavailable. And we’ve taken small steps to climb over or round our respective walls, and for our relationship to blossom.
So, whatever the context for you, if you are feeling that your life is a flatline (or comfortably numb), and you’d like some gentle sine curve ups and downs, then talking to a coach can help you find ways round or through those walls and pain barriers.
I love the picture below. My brother took it on a walk in Cape Town. It’s a King Protea in full flower.