“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life – it goes on.” Robert Frost
Towards the end of last year I decided to refocus my business and start using some skills which have been dormant for a while now. I set myself goals and targets which I communicated to friends and family at the beginning of the year. A public commitment, as I knew they would support me and help me stay on track.
January 2018 didn’t unfold as I expected and within a single week I lost my much-loved cat, Millie, and then more significantly, Mum. I didn’t have time really to process the first loss before the second greater loss was upon me. And the weird thing about loss and grief is that it has the ability to throw us off track.
Being self-employed, as I’m sure many of you are, has tested my resolve. When my Dad died many years ago, I was an employee, and was given compassionate leave. In the last couple of months I’ve been working through the conflict of wanting to grieve and wanting to move my business forward so that in the short term I can pay my bills. Here’s what I’ve learned.
Life goes on. When things throw you off track, having a clear goal to move towards is really helpful. Timescales may become more fluid, and giving yourself time to experience ‘the now’ is really important. But life won’t wait for you. Down the track, if you realise that events in the past (such as a loss) have stopped you from moving forward, ask for help.
In recent weeks, I’ve received a lot of support and also some wonderful coaching. My goals are still there and I’m moving towards them. I’m also hearing the words of Deepak Chopra: “In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” Coaching has helped me to reduce the conflict of wants and needs. It’s okay to get a little lost sometimes, as long as you know your general direction of travel.
Here’s a picture of Times Square. All those signs and neon lights, flashing, noise. A metaphor for busy-brain. Get some clarity and move forward. Because you know what? Life goes on 😉